I have become a godmother yet again (Why does that bring to mind a picture of a horse head in an enemy's bed? - BR). William [...] weighed in at 7 lbs 2 oz

Pounds and ounces? How about something a bit more universal? Like.. the weight in Stones.. or number of full 12 fl oz bottles of Guinness? Or average skeins of Kodiak Buskin River Red Salmon roe? (10-14?) Or weight in number of peanut M&Ms? Or weight in C cell batteries used in electrical devices that make posters of your favorite model seem even more blissful?

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My device uses D batteries, so you're plumb out of luck, Benny. <grin>

He's lighter'n a spiked watermelon, heavier'n a 12 pack. Right up there with a turkey carcase before you pick it. I've avoided M&Ms since being told in grade school the green ones would make you pregnant. <wink>

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FADBeens

so tell me, were you a good girl this year or were you just good?

My device uses D batteries, so you're plumb out of luck, Benny. <grin>
[...]
I've avoided M&Ms since being told in grade school the green ones would make you pregnant. <wink>

I'm reasonably convinced that no amount of eating green M&Ms on your part is going to make me pregnant - so if that really was your fear, feel free to enjoy some at your earliest convenience. I've been assured that there's >nothing< a green M&M could do to me that would make me pregnant (if you were being polite, and eating was not the action you were referring to.)

Weight in D cells doesn't have quite the granularity of weight in C cells.. so feel free to describe the weight in the innaccurate battery unit of measurement you're more familiar with. *grin* (Okay, okay.. so AAA batteries would provide even more granularity. :)

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Sorry about the real world induced delay in replying.

Santa obviously got the message I've been GOOD. <wink>

Benny, I'm relieved to know you're completely safe from pregnancy worries. <snicker> Feel free to come help me chomp green M&Ms. <evul leer>

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FADBeens

BTW GP, we're missimg You at our new forum.....

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Teddies....

Santa obviously got the message I've been GOOD. <wink>

Benny, I'm relieved to know you're completely safe from pregnancy worries. <snicker> Feel free to come help me chomp green M&Ms. <evul leer>

Lumps of coal with Victoria's Secret Silk Collection Coupons = proof that you've been GOOD? There's a number of places that advertise special "lumps of coal" for those that erroneously claim to have been good when they haven't been. (Researched such things when someone else claimed to always have been good.. :)

And just how evil is this offer to help chomp green M&Ms? Are you the type that would attempt some form of chocoholic torture by sucking all the green coating and chocolate from the M&M and leave the peanuts for the helper? Is the helper getting all the lesser colored M&Ms, and you taking all the Greenies? Or is the helper delegated to feeding the green M&Ms to the evil lady that won't share? Erm.. ya.. I can act innocent. :)

Somehow, I think there's some evil plan afoot, as consumption of many M&Ms would require hours of sybaritic exercise on the part of a diabetic to return to normal blood sugars.

And speaking of evil plans, I received an email last night informing me that my wife and I are giving away my sister at a July wedding; which is bewildering to me for multiple reasons. One - my sister is already married; and two - who did they pick out to pose as my wife?

With weird things like that showing up in my email, perhaps I should abstain from various colored replacements for a proclaimed philter. ;)

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Benny - Having lost a hard drive and discovered what wine goes with bubble gum [don't ask!], I think it's time for sybaritic exercise. Please have wife send putative husband for already married sister MY way. <evul grin> I'm always [bad pun alert] up for sucking on things. LOL

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FADBeens

[schoolteacher asks the young troublemaket to spell 'king']

ain't no king miss

no, but I'd still like you to spell it please

but aint been no king since 1952 miss

yes but you still need to be able to write about when there was one. For the last time please spell king

F, er, er, K, I, N, G

[trying not to fill in those ers] but there's no F in king is there?

that's wot I said miss but you wouldn't effin listen

Sorry to hear of your abdication, River~~ <wink>

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FADBeens

I found out how well Dr. Andre Parce's Banyuls Cuvee Vielles Vignes goes with exotic chocolate dessert dishes like Chocolate Lasagna, (4 hour each way drive to get to the closest spot that sold it) but never ran across a guide that had wines listed as per their being complementary to various types of bubble gum.

The email turned out to be from the daughter of a man in Anchorage with my name. And she's named the same as my youngest sister.. So that rules out the spare husband you wished to have shipped down there. :)

So we'll have to find a different way to get you all the sensual, sybaritic exercise you claim to be in need of. *grin*

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Ain't no claim, Benny. Got lectured just last night by a girl friend about my need to stop w*rking my empennage off and get a life. Sigh... Ah well, money CAN buy a lot of happiness. <evil grin>

Y'all gettin' so inbred up there that you're having to recycle names? Heh heh heh

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FADBeens

Y'all gettin' so inbred up there that you're having to recycle names?

Nah.. just importing in a variety of folks whose parents (real name) or friends (nickname) weren't very original in the naming department.
If the stories about us visiting each other's igloos and sharing wives to keep the guest warm were true.. then the problems you mentioned would be prevalent. :)

Money can buy a lot of superficial happiness.. but I'm still under the impression that you have to spend hours and hours practicing with even the most expensive slippery agent before you can deliver non stop plateaus of ecstatic, blissful happiness, and not just momentary glimpses of what's possible. Or something like that. *grin*

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Money can buy a lot of superficial happiness.. but I'm still under the impression that you have to spend hours and hours practicing with even the most expensive slippery agent before you can deliver non stop plateaus of ecstatic, blissful happiness, and not just momentary glimpses of what's possible. Or something like that. *grin*

Sure. And 6 inches is this >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> long. <smirk>

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FADBeens

That could be a useful measuring conversion.. hmm. A lady wearing a nurse outfit with a 12 inch long white pleated skirt would be even more distracting than normal. /e ducks.

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<Adjusts thigh high white stockings...

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FADBeens

/e hands over a white garter belt (or white suspenders) to help finish the look.. :)

Looks like a certain evil temptress has distracted the limeric writers into spellbound silence.

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Ah, it's limericks you'll be wantin' now...

A woman is buying a house
Poor as the proverbial church mouse
The housing inspector
Takin' pity upon 'er
Agreed was far cheaper than spouse

Forgive me if I'm distracted. I'm busy learning the effects of subterranean termits on Louisian Pacific siding. NOT a felicitous combination. Fortunately, it's not my house, but we've still to break the news what the inspector found to the hapless owners.

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FADBeens

Seems just plain wrong to have swept the porch, cleaned the pool and had all the windows open in the middle of January...

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FADBeens

Closet now repainted, rehung and turned into a media center. Starting to look good, but why do renovations make your body so sore???

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FADBeens